


Safe Haven

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Dom Spock (Star Trek), Dom/sub, Fluff, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Sub James T. Kirk, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-22
Updated: 2009-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:47:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Spock is Kirk’s safe haven. This is a look at a different kind of love.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 369





	Safe Haven

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kathy’s Dark Fire zine with much affection and admiration

**Safe Haven**

“ _Treat me like a child_

_Throw your arms around me_

_Oh, please protect me_ ”

Brian Mcfadden feat. Delta Goodrem “Almost Here”

It had been some hard days. A regular exploration of a star system had turned into a nightmare when the inhabitants had revealed themselves to be far more advanced than anyone had first thought – and none too happy with Starfeet interference in their affairs. Four men had died before the landing party had made it back to the ship. Kirk himself had escaped with minor scrapes. His mild injuries had done nothing to ease his sorrow at the loss of those men; the death of any member of his crew always affected him deeply. Despair, doubt and uncertainty had started to encircle him. In the cold and harsh embrace of those emotions he fought desperately for air against the darkness within. Could he have prevented the deaths? It was a question he could never ask anyone. As captain he had to be strong; he had to have all the answers. He could never second guess himself. His mind could create all the imaginary blood on his hands as it wanted; he would always have to carry that weight alone. Worse of all was the feeling that as captain he carried responsibility for the deaths no matter how much he had done to protect his men. Yet as captain who would ever punish him? Who but himself? Yet being your own worse enemy is a terrible burden to bear; the punishment never start yet never end. It’s an endless sea of mental torment you suffer through alone.

Or at least it used to be like that. Little by little since Spock had entered his life he had helped carry the burden of command with him. First as a friend, later as a lover and finally, two years ago, as his bondmate. He had fought sharing anything as deep and substantial as this. He shared his life and his body easily; sharing his mind and soul had been difficult. He had fought the loss of control and vulnerability at first. He had been used to living behind walls for so long it wasn’t easy to emerge from behind them. Yet with a mixture of patience, Human love and Vulcan strength Spock had become everything he had always wanted in a mate. Spock had been able to fulfill needs he at first had not been willing to admit he had. The complete sharing and surrender which lay in the bonding of two minds, in particular when joining with one as mentally powerful as Spock, had been a gift Kirk had never knew he always wanted. Inside their bond he could be himself – all of him. He wasn’t just the Captain or Jim the friend. Here he was those things but he was also his mate’s t’hy’la; his other half. Like the old Earth concept of Yin and Yang they completed each other and fulfilled each other in all ways which had taken both by surprise. 

Kirk entered the chambers he shared on the Enterprise with his bondmate after his first shift since the ordeal at the planet. He saw Spock sitting by the small table by which they often shared meals. He was still in uniform but his eyes reflected a dark passion only Kirk ever saw. He had been reading something on a datapad but now lay it aside as the door closed behind Kirk. The sight of his handsome First Officer lightened Kirk’s spirits but not fast enough; his doubts and insecurities lingered over his mind and spirit like an angry black reptile hungry for more to consume. His dark thoughts were washed from his mind by the strong pull and power of Spock’s mind.

 _Your thoughts must be on me. Only me,_ Spock’s mental voice, filled with command ran clear in Kirk’s mind, lifting the fog of mental anguish from him and created blissful calm in his mind for the first time since the fateful expedition had started. There was enough rebuff in Spock’s words to give Kirk a slight painful backlash which made him grimace.

 _Yes, t’hyla_. Kirk sent the words along the Bond, filling them with love and regret for having been unable to keep his raging and raw emotions under control before entering.

Spock gave him a piercing look and Kirk didn’t doubt he saw straight through him and saw his soul in chains, his spirit in flames. That Spock saw what he needed but could never ask for; could never formulate. Luckily their relationship was such that he never had to.

Spock waved a hand towards the table he was sitting at. “Let us eat. You may serve the food.”

Kirk gave the smallest nod in recognition of the order. “Yes, t’hy’la.”

Kirk was happy to busy himself with this simply task which demanded nothing from him. There was comfort and security in this and Spock knew it. He went to the food processors they had had installed in their enlarged chambers after their Bonding. Soon he had two plates with one of Spock’s – and with time also his – favorite Vulcan vegetarian dishes. Kirk waited for Spock to start eating and nod to him before he began as well. It was second nature to him to do so now when they were in private; he barely thought of it. They ate in silence for a few minutes as it was customary on Vulcan but the silence bothered Kirk this evening. The calm preparing the food had given him was beginning to shatter and the darkness of his mind was threatening again. He fought not to fiddle; he knew how much Spock detested that. Still, he was restless.

“Would you like some music, t’hy’la?” he asked, needing something to break the silence.

Spock gave him a look filled with understanding but the calm authority he wore around him sent waves of security and calm towards Kirk, smoothing his raw emotions. “Yes. The same as yesterday.”

After Kirk had put on the music he returned to the table. The music was a classical composition from a planet they had visited around a year ago with a style not unlike classical Earth compositions from the 18th century. Though the music did help it wasn’t enough; he needed more. He hoped Spock would start a conversation. When Spock and he had first became lovers he had found that despite the Vulcan’s total devotion to him and always proper behavior on the bridge he possessed a strong authority which he was comfortable living out in their private life. In fact it was as much Spock’s need to feel safe within the control Kirk gave him as Kirk had the need to give him this control.

“The conference starts tomorrow at 0830 hours,” Spock informed him, referring to a science conference the Enterprise had been transporting some scientists to. Among the most renewed speakers were of course Spock himself. The conference would last for 4 days and most of the Enterprise crew had shore leave in those days as the Enterprise were also ordered to wait and escort some of the scientists back to the nearest Starbase after the conference.

Kirk smiled to himself. Spock always knew what he needed. When they had first been together and Kirk had finally shown this side of himself to Spock, this need, he had feared Spock only took control because he knew Kirk needed this. However, Spock had quickly shown him how much in error he was. Spock needed to be in complete control and take – with strength if necessary – Kirk’s complete surrender from time to time. This was one of those times. Slowly, little by little, Kirk was letting go. With each degree of control he gave away the more secure he felt. Like a trustful child he would jump from the highest swing knowing there would be someone who loved him to catch him. He didn’t need to think; there were no responsibilities here and no demands. He had to think of only thing; the needs and desires of his bondmate. He needed that. He needed to devote himself to this simply task; to show Spock and himself he still had so much of his soul left he could give it all away. Spock, on the other hand, had more than once told Kirk that he had always hoped to find a Bondmate who loved him so much, trusted him so completely, he would show the kind of surrender Kirk now – after they had been Bonded for two years – gave so readily. It was more than a show of love and adoration but a show of Kirk’s complete and undying trust and faith in his Vulcan Bondmate.

Kirk nodded to Spock’s words, his thoughts focused on the conversation.

“What time do you wish me to attend you?” This was Spock’s event; it was his decision.

“Beam down with me in the morning. The first seminar does not start until 1000 hours; until then there is a chance to get to know some of the most fascinating scientists in the galaxy.”

 _There is only one scientist I am interested in_ , Kirk sent through their link, having always been more at ease expressing great affection in deeds. When he did it in words it was often like this; through their link.

“I wish you to attend,” the sharp order was in strong contract to the warmth flooding the bond.

Kirk nodded with a smile. “Yes, t’hy’la.”

A couple of years ago when he had first met Spock’s parents he had been puzzled as to how Amanda was able to put up with verbal orders from her husband. When he had asked her about it she had smiled at him and simply replied that he was Vulcan. Kirk now knew what she had meant. There was such freedom in surrender, there was such love and complete devotion behind the cold Vulcan commands. Outside of his command when he followed Vulcan traditions with Spock he was sometimes asked the same question. He was certain his smile was just as loving and as patronizing of the asker’s ignorance as Amanda’s had been.

They ate in comfortable silence, broken only by Spock’s comments concerning the conference attendees and the interesting lectures he would attend. Kirk enjoyed just sitting and listing to his lover’s rich voice, replying only when prompted to do so. 

After the meal Spock rose and reached out two fingers to Kirk in the Vulcan embrace.

“I will read for a while. You may join me after cleaning up,” he told him.

As Kirk touched his own two fingers to his lover the link grew stronger and the calm but warm presence of Spock in his mind helped soothe his shivering soul even more.

Kirk nodded, relaxing even further into his surrender and the security Spock’s authority brought him. Whatever was to be done Spock would let him know; if he did wrong or right, deserved reward or punishment, Spock would tell him. “Yes, t’hy’la.” Spock gave the almost smile of his, one filled with fond affection before he moved to a large and comfortable chair, the design from the early 21st century Earth. The chair was one of several items they had brought after their rooms had been enlarged following their Bonding. From Kirk Spock had picked up the habit of reading paper books and he picked one up now and started to read from where the bookmark had been left a few nights earlier. To a Human the domestic scene would have seemed sterile and cold; the Vulcan reading and the human busying himself with the mundane task of cleaning up. Yet through their link they shared warmth and affection as Spock’s physical and mental closeness slowly begun to banish the darkness in Kirk’s soul. The routine tasks calmed Kirk and he knew it was one of the reasons why Spock had him do the task now instead of later. Some evenings Kirk would barely make it through the door before they were caught up in passionate love making but tonight he needed the calm and affectionate built up within the safety of Spock’s command. He needed this night to be about Spock’s domination and his surrender; not about them as friends or an evening with equal sharing of tasks, thoughts and ideas. He needed to regain his equilibrium and he also knew no one could grant him this as Spock could. 

The task done Kirk approached Spock and the Vulcan looked up at him as he drew nearer. Kirk noticed the uniform and the boots and was reminded that during the days he had been fighting for his life and those who had beamed down with him to the planet surface, Spock had been forced to remain on the ship and protect it. The last few days had not been easy for Spock either; he needed to reestablish their mental and physical connection as much as Kirk did.

There was a question in Kirk’s stare which echoed through the bond. Spock nodded slightly. “Remove them.”

Kirk quickly bent down and removed Spock’s boots with care and precision, having complete focus on the task, feeling secure within this command the way he did with all Spock’s commands. The desire to please and do well was becoming the dominant emotions, pushing out the sinister darkness the deaths of his crewmen had brought forth. After having put the boots neatly in the nearby closet Kirk returned and sat down on the floor by Spock’s chair, making himself comfortable there by leaning slightly against Spock’s warm legs. It was a favorite position of his whenever they lived out this aspect of their relationship.

“You may read or watch a holo vid if you so desire,” Spock hold him, his voice dark but rich, filled with the kind of affection years bring and the complete knowledge of his bondmate’s desires and comforts that their mental link gave.

“I am comfortable, t’hy’la,” Kirk assured, looking up at him from beneath long lashes, warmth and affection in his eyes. He enjoyed sitting here by Spock’s chair. It made him feel safe and content in a way he hadn’t felt since he had been a child.

As Spock read one hand almost absentmindedly stroked his human lover’s blond hair and Kirk almost purred in contentment. As the minutes went by he felt the tension leave him and his heart and mind settled. The darkness of his soul was being chased away by the gentle commands of his Vulcan lover and the power his mere presence commanded.

After some time Spock closed the book and laid it on the table by the chair.

“I am ready to retire,” he announced and Kirk eagerly stood up, feeling anticipation and heat settle in the pit of his stomach.

As soon as Spock had left the chair he gathered Kirk in a tight and passionate embrace. With Vulcan strength he easily lifted Kirk off his feet and his lips claimed passion of his month. Kirk eagerly surrendered in his arms; he always felt even more secure and protected whenever Spock showed his superior strength. The fact that the Vulcan could so easily break him yet he knew he would never do so calmed Kirk’s soul in a way nothing else ever had or could. Kirk felt familiar desire flame through his body as he pressed close to Spock, his arms around his neck as he tried to press himself even closer. Spock finally put him back on his feet and walked towards their bed. Kirk remained where he was, enjoying the view when Spock pulled off the blue shirt but leaving the black pants and tight black shirt underneath in place. Kirk drew a gasp as loving passion enflamed his body, settling in his groin at the sight of his handsome lover.

Spock reached out a hand to him, his fingers beckoning, his dark eyes aflame with promised passion. “Come here.”

Kirk eagerly went to him and was caught in a strong embrace and another demanding kiss which was almost bruising in its intensity. Kirk once more willingly submitted under his lover’s lips.

When they drew apart Spock’s eyes were as filled as Kirk’s with repressed passion. “Undress me.”

Kirk obeyed with eager fingers yet still took care to take each garment off carefully. He had learned early that his Vulcan lover did not care for untidiness; in particularly not when they bonded in complete surrender and domination as they would tonight. Kirk had never enjoyed punishment or pain but the knowledge that Spock would do so if he did something wrong calmed him. He never had to wonder if he had gone something wrong; the element of uncertainty and doubt had been removed. With time it was rare Spock had to punish him as Kirk had been a quick learner when it came to what Spock liked. Now it only happened when Kirk purposely fought Spock’s domination; needing Spock to show his love through the strong power with which he would reestablish his authority. Even in his punishment Spock was always considerate and would never seek to humiliate him; merely to establish the balance, the security, in their relationship. He would never hit him in the face or do anything which would threaten his ability to balance this – the most private aspect of their relationship - with his professional life as a leader and commander of hundreds. The element of punishment had never been about pain but about love; Kirk’s need for reassurance and Spock’s need for the very same just finding it in different ways. Yet tonight he didn’t need that kind of security from his Vulcan lover.

When Spock was naked before his eyes Kirk had to draw a sharp breath and the words he didn’t say flooded the bond with wonderment, joy and passion, _you’re beautiful,_ his mind echoed to his alien lover. Kirk’s eyes settled on Spock’s erection, eager to be allowed to touch. He knew his desires were easily read by his bondmate and so was not surprised by Spock’s next command, “Suck me.”

Kirk eagerly knelt and tasted his mate. Wanting to grant the most pleasure he used tongue and lips but kept his hands lightly holding Spock’s hips. The Vulcan moaned at the pleasurable sensations and with one hand he took a strong, slightly painful grip at the back of Kirk’s head and begun to pump in and out of the human’s mouth with increasing roughness. Kirk eagerly accommodated him; feeling his own passion soar by feeling the deep desires he could make Spock unleash. When Kirk felt Spock was close to coming the Vulcan drew back, the only sounds the music which still played and in particular Kirk’s heavy breathing as Spock was better at controlling the signs of his passion. For a few seconds they remained in position, Kirk on his knees before his lover, Spock standing before him, looking down at him with lustfilled eyes. Kirk knew his lover enjoyed seeing him on his knees and Kirk enjoyed being able to kneel for him; only ever for him.

“Disrobe,” the Vulcan ordered with barely held back desire. Kirk rose and quickly did so. Soon he stood naked before his lover. The Vulcan’s eyes on his naked body were like a caress, sending shivers of anticipation down his spine. 

“I want you; all of you,” the Vulcan said, his voice hoarse with desire.

“Yes,” Kirk whispered, passion making his own voice sound different even to his own ears. He was eager to feel Spock; be possessed by him, feel they were one; to feel he was cherished and protected. He went to the bed and laid himself on his stomach, not sure which way Spock would prefer it but this was always a good position to start from. 

“Turn around, t’hy’la, I would like to see your face as I take my pleasure,” Spock almost seemed to purr and as soon as Kirk had flipped over the Vulcan was on him, covering his body with his. The Vulcan begun to kiss and caress, lick and touch every part of his golden lover he could find. He started from his rounded ears and ended up licking the human’s erection with as much desire as Kirk had showed earlier. While a submissive act in principle the Vulcan’s control over Kirk’s desire, determining speed and depth made the act show the Vulcan’s power and the Human’s desire for surrender. Kirk mumbled unintelligently as his passion flared, flooding the bond with flames of lust. He tried to push up into the hot mouth but Spock easily pinned him down.

“You may beg if you wish,” Spock told him before his mouth was full once again.

“Please….please,” Kirk gave in, readily losing himself in the wonderful sensations his body was producing. His own words drove his passion even higher; he enjoyed the surrender almost as much as he did the tongue on his sensitive skin.

“Please what? Be specific, t’hy’la,” the Vulcan’s command had a hint of humor to it.

Kirk was flowing in a sea of passion and desire; the darkness of the last few days banished. He gave up the last of his control; knowing what he needed, knowing what they both needed.

“Please...fuck me. Make me yours,” his eyes caught Spock’s and the plea held passion, desperation and need.

Spock caught his lover’s eyes and Kirk knew he would easily see the desire and the need to be taken there. He would see his need to feel whole again. He needed this as much as Spock needed to possess his lover and reestablish with the act that he belonged to him.

Spock prepared the human with quick and experienced fingers which had Kirk’s passion flare even higher and pleas for Spock to take him fall over each other from his lips. After what felt like forever of blissful torment Spock finally positioned himself between his legs. Their eyes met, both projecting passion and desire through their eyes and the bond. Spock pushed in suddenly while their eyes were still connected. His entrance was so hard and quick Kirk gasped from the sharp pain and the sudden fullness, having to close his eyes for a second or two as his body fought to accommodate his lover.

 _Give yourself to me. Give me your thoughts as I have claimed your body. Open up to me,_ Spock sent through their bond as he started to move, moving into his lover’s mind as he did his body.

 _Yes. I am yours_ , Kirk urged through the bond.

Spock’s essence engulfed his mind and he enjoyed the sensation of being completely embedded, drowned, in his lover. The brief pain turned to pleasure for Kirk as soon as his lover started to move and he begun to urge him on with pleas and moans, some verbal and some through their bond. It didn’t take long before Kirk was at the edge, mumbling please in both Standard and Vulcan; one of few Vulcan words he could remember even in the highest flames of passion. He was drowning in passion and love; he was drowning in the Vulcan both mentally and physically. There was nothing in Kirk’s universe but his lover and the passion they shared; nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. 

Spock reached up and begun to pump Kirk’s organ which was leaking pre-come and screaming for a release he would only get when Spock allowed it. “Come for me.” The words, the command, made Kirk tumble over the edge. He came with a passionate cry and Spock’s name on his lips, fire exploding in his mind and body, sending aftershocks through his system. After a few more hard trusts Spock came inside his human lover and Kirk’s world explored in colors and emotions as he shared in Spock’s orgasm. In this moment, in complete surrender both mentally and physically to Spock, he was free. There was nothing here inside or outside but the feel of Spock; the warmth of his love, strong and secure, was everywhere. He was safe. He was home.

Kirk barely noticed Spock drawing out of his body nor how he cleaned them both with a wet washcloth before he lay down beside his lover. The temperature in their rooms were for Vulcan standard so it was more force of habit that made Kirk reach for the thin cover but found his body numb and weak in a wonderfully lazy way. Seeing his intentions Spock drew the cover up around them both and opened his arms in invitation. Kirk eagerly went into his embrace, lying his head on Spock’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Kirk mumbled, meaning for everything Spock had done tonight and knew Spock would understand.

He was still in a state of complete surrender to his lover; there was no pride or hesitation in his love. It was free and easy.

 _You always know what I need. You always protect me._ The mental words flooded effortlessly to Spock; their link was always even stronger at moments of great intimacy. He curled in closer, one hand absently stroking the hair on Spock’s chest. He felt drained of all energy but completely at ease now, salted, protected, and loved.

Spock put a hand under his chin and turned up his head so he could see his eyes. They sparkled with adoration and love in a manner Spock had before only dare dream of could ever be directed at him. He kissed him softly, as gently as if he was the most prized possession in the Universe. When he released his hold on his chin he stroked his cheek with great affection.

“My pleasure, beloved. Always.” _You are my t’hy’la; I always have and always shall protect you._

Kirk lay his head back on Spock’s chest and sighed contently when Spock’s strong but secure arms closed around his body.

They were both on the edge of sleep when Kirk sent one thought through the bond, filled with honesty and gratitude; _You’re my safe haven; you always bring me safety back home._

 _You are my home, t’hy’la. Always have been and always will be_. Spock’s mental reply sounded clear but gently in Kirk’s mind, filled with humble love and the greatest of wonders for the joy that this man was his; his in every possible way.

His captain, his friend, his bondmate and – like tonight – his mate to be possessed and cherished the way warriors of Pre-reform Vulcan had done so long ago. Through the bond Kirk could feel Spock’s amazement and joy at having been able to find a mate which fulfilled all his needs; the need for love that his Human half had always craved, the need for logic in the Bonding that his Vulcan half demanded and the absolute surrender and completeness in body, mind and soul that the Vulcan Warrior desired. Feeling Spock was as satisfied as he Kirk fell asleep within Spock’s embrace, a smile of contentment on his lips.

The next day they went to the science conference and Kirk still glowed from the peace and tranquility his surrender to Spock had reestablished. In a few days he would be ready to be Captain James T. Kirk once more. For now though…for now, during these days, he was simply Spock’s bondmate and his t’hy’la.

“May I present he who is my bondmate?” Kirk was brought out of his musings when he heard Spock’s words to some of the scientists he had been talking to. Kirk had been waiting politely for the introduction before he had spoken the way it was customary among Vulcan bondmates. Hearing his cue word he went and touched his fingers to Spock’s in the Vulcan embrace. As he did so Spock’s presence in his mind intensified and laid itself like a warm blanket around his soul. “James?” Spock finished the introduction, using only his first given name as was Vulcan custom when introducing a Bondmate. Kirk knew had he been here in his capacity as Captain Spock would have introduced him as such – or more likely he would have spoken first and instead it would have been him who had introduced Spock as his First Officer. For these next few days though he was simply James, Spock’s Bondmate and he was more than satisfied with that. As Kirk acknowledged the polite greetings from the scientists his mind formed the words, _I love you._

Spock’s reply came easily back to him, _I cherish thee, my t’hy’la._

Kirk beamed happily, at peace once more with his life, his love and himself

**The end**


End file.
